Ain't no book about this...

I have received several books about what to do when your spouse dies, how you might feel, etc. What no one really gets into though is the other stuff. 

... television shows you used to watch together but just can't bring yourself to continue because they were yours.

... making decisions about home design and realizing there is no longer someone to compromise with - and then feeling guilty when you make the decision and like the change.

... songs that were once something you enjoyed are no longer something you can tolerate.

... foods 

... beers 

... sounds

... smells

There's just so much that changes when your spouse/partner dies. Not a single book made me feel better and the religious ones were the WORST. Maybe it's because he died by suicide and not something more physically obvious. Maybe it's because I'm still mad at him. Maybe it's because the books weren't written for a 37 year old widow.